Joe Calls Me Kid.

Joe and I met at The American Eye Institute. Joe worked in transportation.  He was a van driver.  Meaning that he picked a patient up and brought them in to have surgery.  This is a position that has some waiting involved.  I worked check out.  This was and still is the hub of the place formally known as The American Eye Institute.  Check out was a place to find who and what was the gossip of the day.  So I had plenty of visits and time to chat with Joe.

I know plenty of things about Joe.  I can tell you he retired from the IRS.  If you didn't pay your bill he came and took your things as payment.  I always found this job similar to the G-man of old.  I am pretty sure I told Joe how "cool" I thought this was.  Joe didn't think it was cool.  It was a hard job.  It's hard to take peoples things away from them.  Joe is married to Lynn.  They called each other bad names and had the best time together. Joe always calls me kid.  Joe and Lynn began snowbirds and I only got to see them in the summer.

Joe is a organ recipient.  Joe was alive because someone else died and gave away their insides.  Joe was so thankful and really spent a lot of time telling people how important it was to be thankful.  Joe encouraged people to consider organ donation.  I always swore I was taking my organs to the grave with me until I met Joe.  Joe is the only reason I told Luke to donate what they could and burn the rest.  I was so glad to know Joe and felt that my life would have been somehow less or different if I hadn't got to know Joe.  So I will donate my insides so someone else can live when its my turn.

Joe died roughly two weeks ago.  He was in Florida, and got an infection.  Which is really serious for organ recipient and he wasn't able to recover.  I am sad for Lynn. I am sad for myself.  I am an organ donor because of Joe.

Joe always called me kid.

Ugh.

Don't you hate it.  Whatever "it" might be in your life.  Doesn't "it" blow harry goats?  Especially with the holidays around the corner.  This is a time of love and understanding, but what about when "it" comes into play.  Ugh.  Caveman language finally making sense to me.

So how do I deal with "it"? I call in the reinforcements. No matter who they might need to be at "its" worse. I know that sometimes I have a very laid back look at things.  I can reason for the good of most things.  After all this isn't my personal "it".  I am simply sharing "it".  Tis the Season to stand with your family and give everyone else the finger.

I hope that I can handle "it" with love and will have added another reinforcement to my arsenal. For now I say Ugh and hope the reinforcements are enough to help. 

Christmas List and Cheese

Part 1)

I haven't been sleeping too hot for about 4 nights.  That is a lot for me. I am a sound sleeper.  So I've been having dreams.  Dreams that I remember and leave me rather filled with angst.  The ones you wake up with fist clinched and just a little pissed.  Well I have noticed some of my dreams current and past have cheese in them.  Not giant wedges of cheese but items with cheese.  An example I was eating a cheese pizza. Then I remember a conversation with a good friend (who is sadly no longer my friend.  It's very complicated and mostly my fault.) Brian. Disclaimer of no romantic relationship.   He was telling me of hearing about people sending other people ideas in their dreams.  I specifically remember asking him to send me dreams of cheese. So although my dreams are at first disconcerting I also find the ones with cheese a comfort.  Maybe Brian is also some days wishing we were friends. 

Part B)

Christmas Lists.  Do you have one?  Have you made plans to make one?  What things do you ask for?  I am considering the items I would like to ask for as gifts.  I gave my Mom an idea.  I gave Luke an idea.  I need more ideas.  So I consider the things that I like. Reading which I prefer to pick out my own books unless I specifically ask for one.  Music which makes my world go around.  I have an Ipod (this is my favorite material possession) so no CD's needed.  I want it I download it and the next day am singing in the car.  Clothes better leave that one alone.  Seriously?  My husband has way better taste in clothes, but I am super picky and less stylish than him. So are those the only three things I like....YUP as I am out of ideas I can reach no further than those things.  I wonder if I can convince him to surprise me with the most prefect gift I have ever wanted and not tell him what it is... So in the long and short of it..Can I steal your Christmas Wish Lists?

Hair Angst

Am I the only lady out there unhappy with their hair.  I am in a constant state hair angst.  I have had a recent experience to see my hair through the ages and in all of them I had bad hair :(
I had a super cute short do that I loved!  No combing, no drying, just a little goo and off I went.  My husband on the other hand hated it, and I know I should so what I want with my hair. I am married to the man and I do want him to find me attractive.  SO I am in the growing out stage. YUCK!
I had long hair too.  The kind that is always put up in a bun and wasn't let out too many times.  I have a picture of said hair free flowing and it was beautiful.  I miss it too.  I have to say having the two extremes both made made me feel like a powerful woman sure of herself.  But can a bad hair cut take that away from you? YES, it can.  It can make you feel ugly, self conscious and way out of your comfort zone.
My hair inspiration seems to come from men.  Have you see Shaun White lately?  All that beautiful red hair.  I would like to proclaim his hair is wasted on him, but I feel this is incorrect.  It takes a man to be comfortable with his hair.  Not to cut, high light, low light, add feathers, and other hair misdemeanors is a completely man thing.  A woman would only ruin the beauty that is Shaun White's red hair. Thanks to Shaun I have been inspired to continue in the wait for hair growth.
I will go see Shannon (my hair stylist) in November.  I am excited to see her its been since July. I will get to here about her new baby and how her son has adjusted to his baby sister.  But its just from a trim and a thin. Mr. White thanks for that beautiful hair.

Missing Spouse?

What is missing in the house? It is the spouse.  Luke is gone overnight and I won't actually post this until he gets home.  I don't like people to know that the protector of the family is gone. You never know who you actually don't know on your FB friend list. 

The point is that one out of four changes the family dynamic even if it is for one night.  One person missing from your family even for a small time makes such a BIG difference.   He makes noise. He watches TV and he expects dinner.

I don't mind being a single parent for one night.  The second night of him being away makes me grumpy.  The first night is fun. We don't turn on the TV. I feed the kids "Old McDonalds" (Kate's name).  We read which ever number of books AJ has decided.  Tonight it was 12.  We actually only got through 11.  We lost Kate's interest at 9.  I fix the favorite chocolate milk.  It's a nice time.

But you can always tell when the spouse is away.  He makes our family go around.  I'll even wait until last to welcome him home.  I won't say that one of us is more happy to see him as he brings something special and different to each of us.  AJ loves to talk with him and make up great big stories.  Kate loves to laugh at him.  He can give her a look and she chuckles all of over herself.  Those really deep ones that make a parents life complete.  I love him.  He keeps me sane and grounded.  Reminds me of the things that I do well and the things that could use help (my cooking needs loads of help).  He takes up 3/4ths of the bed which will remind me he's gone tonight. 

The house is quiet and the only person awake is the slightly lonely spouse.

Change?

I have been pondering my blog post.  I believe I was composing this as I went to sleep last night.  This is a chance to say and chat about so many things.  My chance to be deep and serious, silly, or nasty and mean.  I have to say I like my options.  I am always aware of the things that I put out there for people to see.  I hate to be offensive or hurt feelings.  I will try to overcome that here after all this is my blog and you don't have to read or like.

I was thinking about change.  You know they say some change and stress are actually good for you?  I agree with the students of Psychology on this one.  Having a new experiences are the results of change and stress.  There are people who love change and do it all the time prime example is all the ladies who dye their hair.  A constant change in their life.  I refuse to commit to this kind of change. 

There is also life change.  Plenty of people say they wouldn't change one part of their life.  Really? Seriously? No snarky comments you would like to go back and add?  No conversation you would have preferred to take back?  No last visit you would have made to a loved one who has passed?  This is the kind of change I would like.  I got some comments, some dates to pass on, and last visit to my Papaw England.

The change I can get behind the most.  Personal change and this is related to self.  The thing that I would like to change is self awareness.  I am in a crowd and stop or turn around and run smack dab into some stranger. I apologize and feel awkward.  Why did I not sense that person was there?  Have I always been so unaware of my surroundings?  I would like to think not but I guess my oldest friends would know the truth.  I have no said plan of action to make me aware,  I don't think Sony makes a game for that or would a first person shooter hone my skillz.  I could walk around pretending a sniper was hidden somewhere waiting for a clear shot.  This might cause more problems... So I hope to have some success at upcoming events this weekend. As G.I Joe says knowing is half the battle.  If I can get through Mickey on Ice without tripping over some kid or running down a fellow parent.  I will try to be aware.  I will keep you up to date on my personal goal of change.

First Time Blogger.

This is my first blog.  I was encouraged by my friend Jill Na Na to "share" with the world.

Most of the things going on in my world are my children, work (I try not tot talk about that too much), and my opinions.  Lord and family know I have opinions on most things. 

So maybe my next post will be full of opinions or funny things about my kids?

The Franklinsteiner